To be honest, i don’t know whether i will continue writing on Cambodia. It takes me years to copy back from my log book to writing. I wonder if there is anybody that willingly gives an IPAD to me. If you know, just let me know. I can conclude that the experience that i had in Cambodia is very eye opening experience. Yes there are a lot of poor people there, yes they are behind economically. But they live there in a very harmony world. Unlike us like a developing country, we have a lot of crime, a lot of misguided acts. If this is what developing means, i wish they would say innocence just like now. I don’t feel it is good to describe than like 50 years behind Malaysia. What we are so proud of the development that we achieved so far? The crime rate? Stay up in the night while they sleeping soundly without nothing to be worried in the next day? We have nothing to be proud of. Perhaps I envy them so much in many ways.
Speaking about envy or jealousy, I think that is being human means. We have the right to be envy because we don’t have what the people that we envy have. As long as our jealousy does not harm us in any way, it should be ok. However, we also have the responsibilities to be thankful. With the balance of this to elements, I think world will be better. What we see nowadays is a man with desire, a man with envy, a man with jealousy, but never be a man with the thankfulness. I believe that no matter perfect a man is, there are still desires to have more and found he or she is still inadequate. But i think, that is normal, everybody have it. For example a King who live in palace with the good food, conducive environment, designers cloth, there is something that we know they really want it that we all know which is freedom.
For me, I know that I am far from perfection. I did so many things that are unforgivable in the past. I did so many mistakes. But I learnt a lot from my mistakes with a huge price to be paid. Despite of the ‘bad’ things that happened to me, i know that all of them starting from me. So, I learnt with the hard ways, so that i remember. I honestly think that people deserve not only second chance, but also infinity of chances. No matter what to be put on the table as long as people learnt through it, I am willingly took their promise to change. Maybe because I am the man of imperfection, i know sometimes i took me hundred trials to move from one point to another. People are different from others to others. So let them make fall from the bike thousand time and who know they will be the first people to win a gold medal in Olympics game in the next 10 years. For me being perfect is living with your flaws. To live with flaws it is a not an easy way to live our life. Even for me. I also feel jealous, blaming myself for what happened, I hate some of my physical features. There is a very tight war in my heart and in my mind between the Good & Bad. I will let you know when any site wins.
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